Breaking Up and Bouncing Back: A Guide to Heartbreak Recovery

So, you’ve just gone through a breakup. Maybe it feels like someone ripped your heart out and ran it through a shredder, or perhaps you’re quietly relieved to no longer have to fight over what to watch on Netflix. Either way, breakups suck—but you don’t have to stay stuck in the suck.

As a therapist, I’ve seen countless people transform their heartbreak into breakthroughs. With or without therapy, you can get through this. Here’s how to handle your post-breakup blues, sprinkled with just the right amount of sass.

Step 1: Feel It, But Don’t Feed It

Break-ups come with all the feels—let them happen. Sadness, anger, confusion? Totally normal. But there’s a fine line between processing your emotions and pouring gasoline on them.

In Therapy: Your therapist will encourage you to explore your emotions without judgment, helping you process them in a healthy way.

On Your Own: Let yourself cry or vent, but skip the breakup playlist and sad movies that send you spiraling. Instead, try journaling, taking a walk, or meditating. Feel your feelings, but don’t let them drown you.

Step 2: Text Your Friends, Not Your Ex

You know what feels better than sending that “I miss you” text? Literally anything else. Breakups are when your friends earn their MVP badges.

In Therapy: Your therapist can help you process why you want to hit send—and why you probably shouldn’t.

On Your Own: Instead of texting your ex, text a friend to come over with snacks. Or adopt the classic “write a message and delete it” strategy. Works like a charm.

Step 3: Channel Your Inner Self-Care Diva

Now’s the time to pamper yourself like you’re a Kardashian with a spa day budget. Whether it’s bubble baths, yoga, or bingeing an entire season of your favorite show, give yourself what you need.

In Therapy: Your therapist can help you find self-care strategies that actually work for you (hint: it’s not all face masks and candles).

On Your Own: Treat yourself to small, daily indulgences. That fancy latte? Get it. That slightly overpriced blanket? Wrap yourself in it like the queen you are.

Step 4: Talk Back to Your Inner Drama Queen

The little voice in your head that’s saying, “I’ll never find love again!” or “I’m unlovable!”? Yeah, she’s lying. She’s just really dramatic right now.

In Therapy: Your therapist will help you call out those lies and replace them with facts. Example: “I’m single” ≠ “I’m doomed forever.”

On Your Own: Write those negative thoughts down and roast them like marshmallows. Seriously. “I’ll die alone with cats”? Nope, you’ll thrive with cats and snacks, thank you very much.

Step 5: Be the Main Character

Break-ups are the perfect time for a makeover—of your life. Dust off those old hobbies or try something completely new. Always wanted to learn salsa dancing? Now’s your moment.

In Therapy: Your therapist can help you rediscover your passions and map out your next adventure.

On Your Own: Make a list of things that bring you joy or have always piqued your curiosity. Then go do them! New haircuts are optional but highly encouraged.

Step 6: Create Your No-Contact Shield

Look, you don’t need to “check in” on your ex or stalk their social media. That’s not healing; that’s self-sabotage.

In Therapy: Your therapist can help you build healthy boundaries, even if you share a friend group (or a cat).

On Your Own: Delete. Unfollow. Block. It’s not petty—it’s self-preservation. Your peace is worth it.

Step 7: Celebrate the Small Wins

Got out of bed before noon? High five. Managed to go a whole day without crying? Victory dance. Healing isn’t linear, but it is worth celebrating, step by step.

In Therapy: Your therapist will cheer you on like a personal hype coach.

On Your Own: Start a “Breakup Glow-Up Journal.” Jot down every small thing you do that feels like progress, no matter how tiny.

Step 8: Embrace the Comeback Story

Here’s the thing: Break-ups aren’t just endings—they’re beginnings. They’re your chance to hit reset, rediscover yourself, and (eventually) open your heart to something even better.

In Therapy: Therapy is like the ultimate guidebook for writing your comeback story.

On Your Own: Remind yourself that heartbreak doesn’t define you—it refines you. You’re growing, and the best is yet to come.

Break-ups might suck, but you? You’re a superstar in the making. Therapy can help, but so can leaning on friends, channeling your inner Beyoncé, and taking it one fabulous day at a time. Now, go forth and thrive! 💔➡️✨